Anu Multani and her parents had been looking for a suitable boy for several years, looking up several matchmaking websites without success. In January, Multani, a rifle shooter and a model, unexpectedly encountered someone she liked online. She already knew year-old Imran Garana, but connecting on the app and the knowledge that the other person was also looking for a partner, gave them both the confidence to talk about taking their relationship to the next level. Garana lived near Multani’s hometown Surat, in the western Indian state of Gujarat, and seemed to fit the bill. They talked and met, and things fell into place. By May, they were married. Garana and Multani, both of whom live with polio, had met on Inclov , a new Indian matchmaking app for people with disabilities and health disorders. With Inclov, I wasn’t shy of meeting anyone.
What Online Dating Is Like in India for a Person With a Disability
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India exam topper Ira Singhal: When disability doesn’t matter. In India, people with disabilities are often invisible in day-to-day life, despite numbering tens of millions. Here, the BBC’s Ayeshea Perera meets the makers of Inclov, an app that is seeking to give people with disabilities more opportunities to socialise.
The assembled crowd at Kitty Su, an upmarket nightclub in the capital Delhi, giggles nervously. But apprehensions soon vanish, and a spirited game of Truth or Dare begins, where nothing seems off the table – from confessions about browser histories to speaking in “animal sounds”. Not too long after, the DJ wheels himself to his console and a mix of Bollywood and English pop music begins pumping out. Wheelchairs and crutches notwithstanding, people begin making their way to the dance floor.
This is the latest instalment of “social spaces”, an initiative by Inclov – standing for inclusive love – a matchmaking app created for people with disabilities, although it also has a number of people without any disabilities on its platform. For many of those assembled at Kitty Su this is their first visit to a nightclub. It’s not that they don’t want to go out and do things, it’s just that even something as simple as getting a cup of coffee is hard for them,” says Shankar Srinivasan, who co-founded Inclov with his college friend Kalyani Khona.
India is notoriously disability-unfriendly, in terms of infrastructure, attitudes and policy. Many families who have children with disabilities rarely take them out in public, as it is seen as a source of stigma and shame.
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Did you ever wonder if any of the current online dating apps in India like Tinder or Truly Madly cater to the differently-abled? Or about whether the disabled population in India actually has decent avenues for matchmaking or dating? Kalyani: We launched Inclov in January Initial challenges included getting people to use the app. For example, every disability has certain limitations. If you are hearing impaired you cannot converse on the phone, or if you are blind then how would you see the profiles?
We made sure that the app is made in such a way that a person with any kind of disability can use this app without depending upon friends or family. We also have an offline meetup program called Social Spaces which takes place once a month in Delhi, Jaipur, Gurgaon, Mumbai, Chandigarh, Chennai and Bangalore; we shall also be holding them at Pune and Hyderabad. But people travel to different cities for this – so you shall have someone travelling from Bangalore will go to Chennai Social Space or somebody from Delhi would go to Jaipur Social Space- because they also want to meet new people.
Our meetups are totally inclusive, in the sense that there are ramps at the entry and exit points, washrooms are accessible at a certain height and there are sign language instructors for the help of the hearing impaired- so that everyone can participate. They both have movement related difficulties due to being afflicted with polio.
India has launched a new dating app for people with disabilities. Would it work in Australia?
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A t 33, Bangalore-based Srilatha KS works for a top computer hardware company and takes home a five-figure salary. Since Srilatha became a member, she has found a few suitable matches, and recently decided to take things forward with a fellow wheelchair user. Their liking for each other was instant, but his parents did not approve. Instead — like many Indian parents and relatives of disabled children — they are looking for an able-bodied woman to take care of their son and his home.
They feel a school dropout from a rural or disadvantaged background or a divorcee should agree to marry him. With rates of separation and annulments much higher among women with disabilities, parents prefer to shelter their children throughout their lives rather than push them into a marriage that may not work. The majority of young, urban Indians with disabilities struggle to become independent in a country that offers them limited education and career opportunities , and eventually come to the realisation that they may never get married.
The expectation that women will fulfil the traditional role of homemaker, wife and mother makes it more challenging to find a partner. Her organisation works with the women to help them become financially independent, so that there is no monetary imperative for them to marry. Young people with disabilities in Indian cities often find it more difficult to form relationships. Narasimhan, who has had spinal muscular atrophy since birth, feels that lack of inclusion in society is the reason behind ignorance and lack of empathy.
Babu, who has mild cerebral palsy, notes that the app has provided a platform to the many Indians with disabilities who never use dating websites for fear of being judged for their capabilities. Karthik believes this kind of rejection is one of the reasons why a lot of people with disabilities prefer to marry someone with a disability. If one partner [was] put under pressure, the relationship would crumble.